SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, Kris Jenner is laughing at all of us. 

She’s probably in Calabasas right now, standing over a cauldron, stirring it around and adding ingredients like lip-kits, Kimoji iPhone cases and hundred dollar bills as she chants some kind of fertility spell. All the while, she’s cackling, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Try keep up with this! You stupid, pathetic paupers.”

Why? Well, because it looks like Kim Kardashian is expecting baby number four. A source (which may or may not have been Kris Jenner wearing a fake mustache and a pair of sunglasses) told Us Weekly that Kim Kardashian’s surrogate is apparently due to give birth in August 2019. If these rumours turn out to be true, the Kardashian/Jenner clan are going to have to look into upgrading their private jets to a Boeing 747. Did you see their Christmas photo, for Christ’s sake? 

So we thought it might be worth doing a roundup of Kris Jenner’s existing grandchildren, to help you get your bearings because it’s becoming more and more difficult to keep track of them at this stage. We’ll go through the offspring of each Kardashian, in order of age, starting with Kourtney. 

Kourtney Kardashian (age 39)

Kourtney is the eldest Kardashian sister, and was the one who started the whole baby trend with her on-again, off-again partner Scott Disick. 

1. Mason Dash Disick (age 9)

Born on the 14th of December, 2009, Mason Disick is now nine years old. Here he is in a private jet, on his most recent birthday. Make the most of it Mason, because you’ll be sharing an Airbus with five dozen of your cousins in a few years time. 

 2. Penelope Scotland Disick (age 6) 

Shortly after Mason’s birth, Kourtney and Scott split due to his struggle with alcohol addiction, but after a period of abstinence and therapy, they reconciled and announced that they were expecting a sibling for Mason. Born on the 8th of July, 2012, Penelope was given the middle name Scotland to celebrate Kourtney Kardashians Scottish ancestry. 

3. Reign Aston Disick (age 4)

Two years after Penelope was born, Kourtney and Scott welcomed their second son, Reign Aston Disick, who also happened to be born on the 14th of December (Mason’s birthday). Seven months later, Kourtney and Scott split once again and have been co-parenting. 

Kim Kardashian (age 38)

1. North West (age 5) 

After Kourtney had her first two kids, Kim must have got a bit broody. Her first child, North West, was born on the 15th of June, 2013. Remember? Everyone thought the baby’s name was a joke. But here we are, five years later, and it doesn’t matter if her name is silly, because she’s still infinitely cooler than you are. 

2. Saint West (age 3) 

Like North West, Saint looks so much older than he actually is. I’ve gone to Workman’s on a Wednesday and seen people there who looked younger than Saint West. Somehow, this child is only three years old. He was born on the 5th of December, 2015 and Kim suffered with some difficulties after his birth. She was then advised not to become pregnant again by doctors, and eventually decided to have the rest of her children with a surrogate.

3. Chicago West (age 1)

Just one year ago, Kim’s third child was born. This little girl was named Chicago, and as explained above, she was born via surrogate. As she is just a year old, she hasn’t really been up to much.

 Khloe Kardashian (age 34)

1. True Thompson (age <1)

As you probably know, there was a lot of drama surrounding the birth of Khloe Kardashian’s first child. Khloe’s partner at the time, Tristan Thompson, was caught on film cheating on Khloe while she was pregnant. There was footage of Thompson kissing another woman in a nightclub and photos from another occasion which showed Tristan entering a hotel room with another woman. Still, Khloe allowed Tristan to be present at the birth of their daughter, True Thompson. 

Rob Kardashian (age 31) 

SIPA USA / PA Images SIPA USA / PA Images / PA Images

1. Dream Kardashian (age 2)

In January 2016, Rob Kardashian began dating model Black Chyna, and within three months the pair announced their engagement on Instagram. A month later, they announced that they were expecting a child together. On the 10th of November 2016, Dream Kardashian was born. A month later, Rob and Chyna split up. 

Kylie Jenner (age 21)

1. Stormi Webster (age <1) 

Kylie Jenner went on a bit of a social media blackout during her pregnancy, releasing a very limited number of photographs on Instagram and Snapchat compared to her output in the years prior to this. During this time, we had no idea whether she was actually pregnant or not, and boy did the public have fun trying to guess. Eventually, she had her baby Stormi Webster on the 1st of February, 2018, with rapper Travis Scott.

Look at this little tiny baby. She’s so small, and yet her carbon footprint is so big. 

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